This article from yesterday’s TOI talks about the rise in arranged (not forced) marriages in the US. It kinda makes sense to me given how complicated and busy people’s lives have become in recent times – all over the globe.
As an undergrad, marriage was a distant (almost laughable) concept to me. After graduation I witnessed some of my peers marry their college sweethearts. Those unions seemed guaranteed to disintegrate in a few years – except maybe a couple of them where it was blatantly obvious the two are made for each other.
As for us single 20-ers in our first jobs, we are still stuck in the bar scene. I worked 40 hours a week in the US after which I was expected to go to a bar, drink and get laid (or come back home and pass out) every weekend. Somewhere in between I had to do the laundry, get groceries and supplies, cook/order take-out & eat, somewhat clean the apartment, call up parents and distant friends, respond to emails, keep up with sports news (or the latest happenings in TV land) and pay all sorts of bills. And what about the small mishaps like flat tires, colds, allergies, repairing your home heating/cooling system etc. And btw, I had to squeeze in yoga classes and vacation into this somehow. By the time I was done with all these I just wanted to relax with a cold beer – not work on that hot chick’s booty.
The idea of scouting for potential mates in a bar/club is more laborious than the work I do in office. Finger 11 sum up the bar scene pretty well in Paralyzer:
I hold out for one more drink
As an undergrad, marriage was a distant (almost laughable) concept to me. After graduation I witnessed some of my peers marry their college sweethearts. Those unions seemed guaranteed to disintegrate in a few years – except maybe a couple of them where it was blatantly obvious the two are made for each other.
As for us single 20-ers in our first jobs, we are still stuck in the bar scene. I worked 40 hours a week in the US after which I was expected to go to a bar, drink and get laid (or come back home and pass out) every weekend. Somewhere in between I had to do the laundry, get groceries and supplies, cook/order take-out & eat, somewhat clean the apartment, call up parents and distant friends, respond to emails, keep up with sports news (or the latest happenings in TV land) and pay all sorts of bills. And what about the small mishaps like flat tires, colds, allergies, repairing your home heating/cooling system etc. And btw, I had to squeeze in yoga classes and vacation into this somehow. By the time I was done with all these I just wanted to relax with a cold beer – not work on that hot chick’s booty.
The idea of scouting for potential mates in a bar/club is more laborious than the work I do in office. Finger 11 sum up the bar scene pretty well in Paralyzer:
I hold out for one more drink
Before I think
I’m looking too desperately
But so far has not been fun
I should just stay home
If one thing really means one
This club will hopefully
Be closed in three weeks
That would be cool with me
Well I’m still imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place
After I left the US, I spent a month with my parents in Kathmandu. By the time I left Kathmandu for Mumbai I think I had at least three marriage proposals – all from friends of my mom who spotted me somehow, somewhere which I will never be able to figure out. I refused to meet any one of them and was relieved to leave the homeland still single.
I went to bars/clubs in Kathmandu as well. The crowd was way different than the one in US that I had gotten used to. Nobody was even trying to get laid. It was all about relaxation, good company, exquisite food, free-flowing alcohol and decent music. While this would have passed for luxury in the US in Kathmandu I was doing this with those at the bottom of the income pyramid. It felt amazing.
The point is - it really was easier to find a ‘mate’ in Nepal than in the US. If parents of working 20-ers or 30-ers were to introduce them to potential mates even in the US, it just might work since they don’t have the time to go around looking for one. And parents are very likely to know what their kids like and dislike – though in several cases that is arguable. Once the single, young & restless in America and Europe get their minds around the idea of ‘arranged marriages’ the trend will take off. After all, isn’t that what online matchmaking sites like e-harmony.com are doing? They are arranging people’s marriages based on profile compatibility.
Finally, how many people still believe in love, romance and soul-mates? I mean we are all so stretched out trying to make ends meet, trying to ‘live our own lives’ and ‘meet our personal goals’ that keeping an eye out for a hubby or wife material is asking for way too much. Honestly, I would rather click and choose.
After I left the US, I spent a month with my parents in Kathmandu. By the time I left Kathmandu for Mumbai I think I had at least three marriage proposals – all from friends of my mom who spotted me somehow, somewhere which I will never be able to figure out. I refused to meet any one of them and was relieved to leave the homeland still single.
I went to bars/clubs in Kathmandu as well. The crowd was way different than the one in US that I had gotten used to. Nobody was even trying to get laid. It was all about relaxation, good company, exquisite food, free-flowing alcohol and decent music. While this would have passed for luxury in the US in Kathmandu I was doing this with those at the bottom of the income pyramid. It felt amazing.
The point is - it really was easier to find a ‘mate’ in Nepal than in the US. If parents of working 20-ers or 30-ers were to introduce them to potential mates even in the US, it just might work since they don’t have the time to go around looking for one. And parents are very likely to know what their kids like and dislike – though in several cases that is arguable. Once the single, young & restless in America and Europe get their minds around the idea of ‘arranged marriages’ the trend will take off. After all, isn’t that what online matchmaking sites like e-harmony.com are doing? They are arranging people’s marriages based on profile compatibility.
Finally, how many people still believe in love, romance and soul-mates? I mean we are all so stretched out trying to make ends meet, trying to ‘live our own lives’ and ‘meet our personal goals’ that keeping an eye out for a hubby or wife material is asking for way too much. Honestly, I would rather click and choose.
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